You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Mom said you looked used
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
