ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
