If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it's like iHOP with fire
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
