This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
