yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
