Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
