I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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