no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize