Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
