This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
