ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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