Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
