dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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