we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
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I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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