so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
