He told me they were just razor bumps!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
