just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
