he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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