In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids