If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.