tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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