im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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