he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
