the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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