was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
