ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
