I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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