you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize