i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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