Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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