its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm always down for nudity.
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