before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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