Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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