All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
