My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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