FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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