I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bang-toberfest begins!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize