We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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