i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
