So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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