this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
