Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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