He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
