After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize