I don't think brook has ever known best
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
