exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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