"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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