What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
