Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
