Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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