Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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