Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am one with the molecules
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize