It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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