I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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