2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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