His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
