Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
