She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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