I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
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Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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