i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
