Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
