That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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