Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
