And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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