He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
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he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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