i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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